Saturday, July 30, 2011

July 2011

Omerism of the Month: There's nothing wrong with semen so long as it is of the non-human variety.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

June 2011

You know, the world does not revolve around women.


Just because your mother has already reached menopause doesn't mean I can't provide her an orgasmic experience.


There is clearly one thing that all women have in common... and, that is, that they all want me.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

May 2011

On the topic of moving into his new place (and out of his parents' home)...

"I predict I will have an explosion in sexual activity."

Thursday, April 14, 2011

April 14, 2011

He speaks... I dedicate my life such that I am not ever a required entity.

A response... Then, how come you're required for that 9AM meeting on Monday morning?

And, Omerism... I think they just want eye candy.

Friday, March 18, 2011

March 18, 2011

On the topic of women...

Friend: You need a wider selection.
PureMuscle: There's maybe 200 people nearby. But, you do need to consider that maybe 80% are male, and 15% are married women. That leaves 5%, and most of them are ugly.


PureMuscle: I actually saw a cute girl earlier today.
Friend: Is she a part of the set {married}?
PureMuscle: Don't think so, she's young.
Friend: Young and married are not mutually exclusive... is she part of the set {taken}?
PureMuscle: No clue... but, she probably is in the set {wants my nuts}.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

March 2, 2011

Pure Muscle, after hearing he had 8% body fat, says, "I might be throwing a party soon for all my fat friends in order to cheer them up a bit."


Everyone wants to see black guys dressed up as ladies!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Jan 1 - Feb 17, 2011

Excerpts from lunch:


During a conversation about the gestation period of various mammals, we were given this gem...

"With a 2 year pregnancy, elephants must really be diligent about using condoms."


"In the anti-Semitic parts of the world, they don't call it Israeli cuisine. Restaurants serving Jewish food are labeled Food of Occupied Palestine."


"I want to walk down the street and have people kneel and kiss my hands."


After a friend offers him a deal on a car ($8K special friend asking price for a car listed at $12K Blue Book)...

"How about $6500? I want to impress the ladies with my business and negotiation skills."