tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39428136047109185872024-02-19T22:32:36.499-08:00Omerisms"This is the price I pay for not applying the correct filters to the things that come out of my mouth."
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<br>Disclaimer: This is strictly a non-work related blog.Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-30048142985526856532011-07-30T17:42:00.000-07:002011-08-03T17:44:08.308-07:00July 2011Omerism of the Month: There's nothing wrong with semen so long as it is of the non-human variety.Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-36491388653861609582011-06-09T05:02:00.000-07:002011-06-29T16:14:49.524-07:00June 2011<span style="font-style:italic;">You know, the world does not revolve around women.</span><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Just because your mother has already reached menopause doesn't mean I can't provide her an orgasmic experience.</span><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">There is clearly one thing that all women have in common... and, that is, that they all want me.</span>Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-53328138823326363012011-05-11T11:46:00.001-07:002011-05-11T11:48:00.151-07:00May 2011On the topic of moving into his new place (and out of his parents' home)...<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"I predict I will have an explosion in sexual activity."</span>Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-21416557119971102152011-04-14T14:50:00.001-07:002011-04-14T14:52:52.101-07:00April 14, 2011He speaks... <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">I dedicate my life such that I am not ever a required entity.</span></span><br /><br />A response... <span style="font-weight:bold;">Then, how come you're required for that 9AM meeting on Monday morning?</span><br /><br />And, Omerism... <span style="font-style:italic;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">I think they just want eye candy.</span></span>Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-25196544052904075182011-03-18T14:49:00.001-07:002011-03-18T14:49:59.335-07:00March 18, 2011On the topic of women...<br /><br />Friend: You need a wider selection.<br />PureMuscle: There's maybe 200 people nearby. But, you do need to consider that maybe 80% are male, and 15% are married women. That leaves 5%, and most of them are ugly.<br /><br />-------------<br /><br />PureMuscle: I actually saw a cute girl earlier today.<br />Friend: Is she a part of the set {married}?<br />PureMuscle: Don't think so, she's young.<br />Friend: Young and married are not mutually exclusive... is she part of the set {taken}?<br />PureMuscle: No clue... but, she probably is in the set {wants my nuts}.Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-44590646175798284602011-03-02T14:04:00.000-08:002011-03-02T14:21:58.762-08:00March 2, 2011Pure Muscle, after hearing he had 8% body fat, says, "I might be throwing a party soon for all my fat friends in order to cheer them up a bit."<br /><br />------------------<br /><br />Everyone wants to see black guys dressed up as ladies!Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-51627585435924482452011-02-17T20:03:00.000-08:002011-02-17T20:10:48.664-08:00Jan 1 - Feb 17, 2011Excerpts from lunch:<br /><br />---------------------------------------<br /><br />During a conversation about the gestation period of various mammals, we were given this gem...<br /><br />"With a 2 year pregnancy, elephants must really be diligent about using condoms."<br /><br />---------------------------------------<br /><br />"In the anti-Semitic parts of the world, they don't call it Israeli cuisine. Restaurants serving Jewish food are labeled <span style="font-style:italic;">Food of Occupied Palestine</span>."<br /><br />---------------------------------------<br /><br />"I want to walk down the street and have people kneel and kiss my hands."<br /><br />---------------------------------------<br /><br />After a friend offers him a deal on a car ($8K special friend asking price for a car listed at $12K Blue Book)... <br /><br />"How about $6500? I want to impress the ladies with my business and negotiation skills."Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-34461240947395361452010-12-09T18:55:00.000-08:002010-12-09T19:07:38.509-08:00December 9, 2010"I'm a really nice guy... I'm respectful and I have good intentions."<br /><br />... a little over 3 minutes goes by ...<br /><br />Question: "So, when's the last time you had an actual conversation with a 21 year-old [girl]?"<br />Answer: "I don't. That's what my friends are for. With the ladies, I just talk about what they want to talk about... like shopping."<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />"Girls in general are quite <span style="visibility: visible;" id="main"><span style="visibility: visible;" id="search">naïve. Most have no idea what is really on guys' minds."<br /></span></span>Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-55478586406193452682010-10-14T13:29:00.000-07:002010-10-14T13:33:49.828-07:00October 14, 2010<span style="font-style: italic;">Qu'ils mangent de la brioche</span>.<br /><br />Upon hearing that some of his lunchtime company may be vegetarians on the way to a BBQ spot...<br /><br />"Not to worry, there'll be plenty of grass nearby the restaurant for them to feed on."Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-41096068406994353602010-09-30T18:48:00.000-07:002010-09-30T18:50:41.634-07:00September 30, 2010In response to, "You seem like you're thinking happy thoughts. You've got a big smile on you. What are you so happy about?"<br /><br />He says, matter-of-factly, "I just realized I have crap in my water."Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-57636316184880183032010-09-23T13:22:00.001-07:002010-09-23T13:24:12.879-07:00September 23, 2010When bitching about our daily lives...<br /><br />"It must be nice to always have some [other group] to blame. They are Israel, and you guys are the Arab Nation."Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-25025571143601373792010-09-23T13:19:00.000-07:002010-09-23T13:21:33.737-07:00September 16, 2010Upon discussing the prospect of a colleague becoming a male stripper, our hero says,<br /><br />"Rarely do I get this excited before 5pm."Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-58030694486687669552010-08-30T20:00:00.000-07:002010-08-31T15:33:04.513-07:00August 30, 2010Lunch<br />Mid-way through lunch, the conversation had evolved into one about immigrant sex workers that had made their way into Israel. Ideally, one should find the right transition into a different conversation. Instead, this was the segue offered:<br /><br />"So, I have this cousin, she's..."<br /><br /><br />Later on, same lunch.<br />"Damn, you guys are old. You can't even last an hour." (referring to the length of code reviews)Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-46763826440018798382010-07-28T12:59:00.001-07:002010-07-28T18:13:42.479-07:00July 28, 2010Lunch<br />"One day we'll have enough power in congress to eliminate anti-Semites like you."<br />"Yea, I like women who are over 200lbs and muscular."<br /><br />Street Parking Wisdom - <span style="font-style: italic;">If you drive a small car, and you park too closely behind a larger car (e.g. SUV) on the street, then you are clearly an idiot. Thus, you should be held responsible for all damages caused by the car that backs into you.</span>Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942813604710918587.post-12295809480836818622010-07-27T13:24:00.001-07:002010-07-27T17:04:44.587-07:00July 27, 2010Lunch<br />"I want to impress the women with my raging intellect."<br />"I would be more productive if this office wasn't such a cock fest."<br /><br />Late Afternoon<br />"I'm used to working on more existential problems. I have no time to waste on trying to make a few bucks on the side."Brute Forcehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10214183612902971524noreply@blogger.com0